Maulana in transit by Lifafa Khan

Lifafa Khan

Lifafa Khan

I don’t believe much in luck but sometimes a situation forces me to rethink and agree about it. Few days ago my lucky star shone on me and I bumped into Maulana in the transit lounge at Lahore airport. I was going to Islamabad via PIA but as usual when I went to the transit lounge i learned that flight is delayed for 45 minutes. I looked around and saw Maulana taking a power nap on a sofa in the corner of the lounge. I thanked PIA for giving me this opportunity to speak to Maulana. After all it is not all bad about great people to fly with.

I cautiously approached Maulana unsure whether he will talk to me or not. I sat on the far corner of the sofa and cleared my throat with a loud voice. That made Maulana to move and open his eyes. To start the conversation and break the ice, I said “In transit Maualana”.

Maulana looked at me with his peculiar smile and replied “No it is almost decided that we will become part of the cabinet.”

Shyly I replied “I was talking about in transit at the airport.”

Without a heartbeat the smile broadened on Maulana’s face and he said it is the same thing as the whole life is a one big transit whether it is from one airport to the other or from one government to the next one.

Encouraged by his friendly manner I asked Maulana, with a little tremble in my voice, why his party lost elections in KPK. He explained that it was a Yahudi sazish to prevent his party to come to power.

As a believer in democracy I confessed my ignorance that I was not aware Yahudies were in majority in KPK. To take the discussion further I asked him why he thinks Khan is an American and Jewish agent. Instead of answering right away he looked at me with total innocence on his faced and asked me a question that how is it possible that people in Europe and America are wearing T-shirts with Diesel written on it. He said who else can inform them but someone who is familiar with Pakistan.

I commented that he could have improved his chances by aligning with other Maulanas. He took a deep sigh and said that he wanted to form an alliance but then Baigharat Brigade video came out. So he had to step back and take a second look. But you should remember that one reason I feel close to Mian in Islamabad is because my former friend in the big house told me that “Mian kay pait main darhi hai”. The grin on his face got even broader as he winked his right eye.

He said that Pakistan’s problem will only be solved when smaller provinces are created. To explain his point he said that he can not find enough number of brothers and sons to give party ticket. If KPK was a smaller province it would have been easy for his family to manage it. To prove his point further he said look at Mian in Lahore and Mian in Islamabad. Both of them have to keep many portfolios to make Punjab prosperous. He said that if South Punjab is made a province there are many good families to take care of that province. He expressed his satisfaction that many good families have joined PTI but they are facing injustice from party members. He was confided that after May 11 elections PTI will be controlled by families like other parties which will make it easy to form coalitions with them. He said that one of the reasons Karachi is in a bad situation is because there is no strong family to take care of it. He advised Altaf Bhai to find a good family to handover Karachi to them.

To change the subject I asked him what are his future plans after his party’s loss in KPK. He said nothing to worry about as very soon there will be big change in KPK. He said that Pee Kay has always been a good friend regardless which cap he wears. I appreciated his willingness to cooperate with his opponent party. He smiled again and said that he is always misunderstood by the media. He likes government as he wants Pakistan and his province to be developed.

I showed him the newspaper in which he offered Mian in Islamabad (not to be confused with Mian in Lahore) to help negotiate a package with angry young men with guns in KPK. He said it was his national responsibility to resolve dispute between people especially when those holding guns have been eager to trust him. He said that as elders we have to listen to them especially if they are asking such small things as women votes should be cast by men or that men can’t be trusted so women should wear a shuttle cock burqa to cover them from head to toe or that girls get better education at home so they don’t have to go to school. They also don’t want razor or music to be sold in KPK or barber shops to operate. These are small demands and can be implemented very easily.

He said that he is peace-loving person that is why he offered American Ambassador cooperation if he is elected Prime Minister of the country.

I had many more questions to ask Maulana but then the flight departure was announced. I prayed that my lucky star will shine again on me someday to meet Maulana to understand him fully.

Lifafa Khan is a freelance journalist. He secured Doctorate in Danish (DiD) degree from University of Life. All characters and situations are Danishmandi of Lifafa Khan and should not to be confused with anything else. Any heart burn or stomach pain lasting longer than three hours should be consulted with a proper doctor.

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